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Youtube Addiction

Like alchoholic addiction, I am addicted to watching youtube videos.  Everyday 2 to 3 hours before sleep, I watch youtube – 10 PM to 1 AM – three hours I watch youtube.

I would not get sleep, If I do not watch  youtube. It has become an habit before sleep.

I take Outh as not to watch youtube.  I consciously do not watch youtube for a week.  Then I break my outh and watch youtube videos as usual.

Because of youtube watching my sleeping duration has reduced.  It is hard to resist youtube, it continuesly shows likelyhood videos automatically as per our interest.

I am trying to stop watching youtube, but failed in my determination many times.

Late night youtube watching has reduced sleeping duration, diluted sleeping quality. No time and energy for other activities.   No talking with family members.  Every bit of freetime, will be used for watching youtube.

I realised that I am addicted to youtube now.  I do not know how to get rid of this addiction.  I am not getting sleep even I goto bed by 10 PM.

As usual, I have token Outh yesterday as not to watch youtube.  I did not watch youtube yesterday.  But today I am sleepless.  Post midnight, I will start sleeping as usual.

Hope, this time, I will succeed in my Outh.

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Nothing wrong with the bike

Nothing wrong with Bajaj Discover 150F bike.  I had severe back pain when I was riding that bike.  I tried this and that to resolve the back pain.  But nothing worked.  Without having any clue as why that bike gave me back pain, I sold that bike for cheap price.

Then I purchased Honda Shine.  No back pain with honda shine.  I am riding Honda shine for the last three years.  Everything went well.

Last six months, I am riding Shine for 50 kms up and down per day for commuting.  Saligramam to Okkiyam Duraibakkam.  I started having back pain nowdays.  I am not blaming Honda Shine for back pain.  The same bike I used ride for three years without any problem.

50 KMS ride – 5 days a week, irregular sitting posture in office, restless weekend, latenight or till midnight mobile addiction, job stress – all causing back pain.  Nothing to do with Honda Shine.

In the same way, something wrong with me, my life style, triggered back pain, when riding Discover 150F.  But, I mistaken as bike was the problem.  It was a good bike with strong bottom and midrange speed, gave 70+ km/ltr mileage in highway if ridden around 60+ km/hr speed.  I was using the bike in both city and highway. Only problem I noticed was, bike was not stable and not confidence inspiring beyond 60 km/hr speed.  I sold Discover 150F without knowing why I had back pain.

Honda shine is a good city bike, but it struggles in highway, engine feel stressed above 50 km/hr speed.  We should not push honda shine beyond 50 km/hr speed.

Now, I am looking for second bike to ride in highway.  When I searched Discover 150F in quikr, olx, I hardly see it.  Even listed but overpriced.

Today I saw an ad for Discover 150F in OLX for 18500 rupees – six year old bike. Suddenly I noticed another ad for pulsar 220F for the same price – 18500 rupees.  It is a 10 year old bike.

Pulsar 220F is a far better bike than Discover 150F.  I oscillate.  My quench for riding a bike in highway is not satisfied yet.  The crush for highway machine is still burning.  My speed is not 100 or above 100 km/hr.  My speed is around 60 to 70 km/hr.  But I want a stable machine in highway against cross or head winds.  Engine should not stressed.  It should be relaxed at those speeds.

Discover 150 F engine is not stressed at 70 km/hr speed, but not stable and confidence inspiring at those speed.

I could push Honda Shine for 70+ km/hr speed, but engine is stressed, bike is not stable and shaky in winds.

Since, I already ridden Discover 150F, I know it was stable in 60+ speeds, engine relaxed.  It matches my speed and expectation.  But, it is hardly sold in used bike market,  that too not in affordable price.  15000 to 20000 is my budget, 50 to 10 years old, spare parts should be available. Any mechanic can maintain it.  I prefer the highway machine with kick starter.

Discover 150F, pulsar 220F, pulsar 180 are my choices now.  Budget less than 20000 rupees.  I will keep my honda shine for city usage, agile, nimble, and light weight bike.

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Self Pressure – Self Image

We have self image about ourself.  We expect what is happening to us should be within acceptable range of our self image.  We can not accept if something happening breaching our self image.

A person studying good at school and college, started to believe about  himeself as a good performing guy.  He can not accept, if he is given low rating in his job.  Poor feedback in job is breaching his self image as good performing guy.

We develop a belief system about ourself by seeing our face.  If anything  happening to me beyond my belief system, I can not tolerate.

I have a belief or opinion that I am a good programmer.  I understand business models and implement them as softwares. Sometimes if I can not understand a business model and not able to implement as softwares, I can not tolerate, I will start to doubt my skills.  My confidence dilutes.

The fact is nobody knows everything.  There are things which we can not do.  Not everything we can accompolish.  When the task is within our command, we get it done, and develop confidence.  When the task is beyond our comand, we are not able to do it, and loose confidence.  We afraid what will happen bad because of the failure.

Failures, not able to uderstand, not able to complete a task all are part of life.  If our self-image allows failures too, then we will be comfortable in embarassing moments too.  We are not special, not to be scolded, criticized, embarassed.  As long as our self image is flexible, we will be in a bliss.

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Buying a Car

I am planning to by a car for a while.  Today I visited three show rooms – maruthi, renault, nexa.  Cars enquired are swift, expresso, kwid, triber, baleno.  On road price will come from 5 to 7 lakhs.  I have to pay down payment and remaining will be paid in EMI for several years.

My car usuage is simple.  Daily commute to office, monthly once or twice city outting with my family – total four members.  Yearly once or twice travelling to native place – to Trichy from Chennai, That’s it.

Challenges in having big car is parking, driving in city traffic, highway cruising will be a bliss.

Challenges in having a small car is congested and cramped travel when driving with five passengers – three in back seat. Riding in hills too is challenge.  Highway cruising will be boring, we have to maintain 60 to 80 km/hr speed.  Parking and driving in city will be blissful.

I have a craze for Tata Nano.  Many times, I felt I missed purchasing tata nano.  The thought of buying second hand used tata nano car instead of buying new premium hatch bag car, haunting me often.

I could usily buy a old nano within one lakh rupees and without committing big long EMIs.  But reliability of used car is a question – especially Nano, which is discontinued.

I postponding buying a car.  It is a decision paralysis now.  I do not have eperience and knowledge to take a decision in buying a car.  I am not ready to go for big EMIs now.  I have a craze for Nano.

Commuting by bike gives pain to my hip and back.  Switching to four wheeler for office commuting is a must now.

So, Let me take the risk of buying old nano.  Low risk, low gain, low loss too.  It is like a upront decision.

If my experiment with used nano goes well, after six month or one year, I could buy a new nano by exchanging the old car.  If the experiment does not go well, sell it.  Either case loss will be less.

We do not know, what is right decision.  State of decision will change from time to time.  Sometime our decision looks good and other time it looks bad and vice versa.

So, I will follow my will, buy a old nano within my budget, no need to avail loan. Due to my simple usecase with car, I don’t want spend too much and commit EMIs for years.

Spare parts availability is another challenge for tata nano.  Because of this spare parts fear I missed Suzuki GS150R bike, but it is still running on roads.

Even If I get finance for my second hand Nano, then I could keep my lumpsum money with me.  EMI will be around 3000 rupees and tenure would be 3 years.  I could keep my one lakh with me for safer side.

I am stuck by decision paralysis many times.  Henceforth, I have to follow my will or fear to move on from decision paralysis.

I followed my fear in buying a used car, and I did not buy used Tata Nano.

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Decision Paralysis

When you want to take corrrect decision, but do not know what is correct, then you can not take decision.  You keep postponding making decision.  Ths is Decision Paralysis.

Decision paralysis will not solve any problem.  It extends the current situation.  Until you take decision, your problem will not solve. Decision Paralysis continue your sufferings.

Decision Paralysis will not allow you to take a decision, because you afraid that your decision may go wrong.

How do overcome decision paralysis? When you do not have experience and information to take correct decision, take decision at your will.  Move on.  Dont get stagnated without taking a decision.  Either correct or wrong decision, both will bring change.  A change from your current state.

Take decision to know what is right and wrong.  Once you know what is right and wrong, you will be able to take right decision.  You will have a flow, where you do not need to take decision.  You will follow the flow.

When you are in decision paralysis, don’t know what is correct decision then don’t prolongate the situation.  Take a decision as per your liking or follow your fear.

Decision always brings change – good or bad – there will be a change.  Hesitation prevents change happening.

It is best to follow the flow, where you don’t need to take decision.  Use your experience and information when you have to take decision.  If you don’t have experenece and information, then follow your will or fear.  Will is best.

Take decision to take better decision in the future.