At young age, we feel confident mentally and physically, If somebody ask you, whether you will put your finger in fire or not, you will say with a Blind Confidence that you can put your finger in fire, because you do not know how it is to be put the finger in fire. You will come to experience the pain, burn when you actually put your finger into fire, then you realize it is very difficult to bear the burning pain. By the time you can not take out your finger from fire because you have already committed.
At young age, your subservient and cordial spouse, will make you feel, your married life will be pleasurable and commendable . Rottweiler dog when it was a puppy, it was playful, obedient. When reaching adulthood, due to hormones surges, it becomes very rough, arrogant, dictator. You can not command it easily. In the same way, after a decade, your spouse transform into different being, you can not command or control them easily. They will dictate you like anything.
Cult of Marriage, demands more from you. You have to earn continuously, you have to spend your time, energy, mind for the welfare of your family. Either you are interested or not interested, you are committed, so you have to.
To be successful in Marriage Cult, you need to earn good money, buy a car, buy a home, enroll your kids in good school or college, conduct your kids marriage expensively, let your kids land in high paying jobs, foreign tour, spend lavishly for hospitals, earn respect from others and society, do a respectable business or work in respectable career, and many more and what not. To attain all these, you have to squeeze your energy, time, intelligence, and all resources to the maximum extent. If you do not attain, any of the above, then you are considered as failure, you and your life will be stamped a failure.
Understand the commitment involved in Cult of Marriage, then do marriage. Without understanding do not engage in marriage and grieve over later, which you can not change anything. You may be male or female, both have commitment, involvement, dedication, effort, apply mind, and energy. Depending upon your role, you have to constantly cook all days, you have to look after and run behind your kids. Or someone else or mostly your mother or mother-in-law will cook and look after your kids with dedication on behalf of you. You have to ensure that fees of school and college are paid promptly and your kids are studying well. Expense after expense will arise from every nook and corner. Your monthly budget will explode. You can not shout at the expense, because that will lead to arguments and sense of inability. There are never ending EMIs. Whatever you earn, this is the case.
Paying attention to family , spending time with family.,.. my father and grand father do not come across these statements. Dependency and seeking attention, appreciation from partner – all leading to frustration and skirmish after a decade of married cult.
Irrespective of how much you earn, you will be happy or sad when comparing with others. If others earn more than you, you will be sad, if others earn lesser than you, you will be happy. It is the comparison makes you happy or sad, not the salary or money you earn.
Post forties or fifties, you may want to wander in life without aim or goal or destination. Your commitments will not let you wander, you can not abandon anything. You may wander in cosmos lonely after you die.
You feel, your life is full of problems and pressure and you start seeking intervention of God, religion, spirituality, horoscope, corporate gurus, saints, yogis, yoga, pranayama, kriya and blah blah stuff. You try to decode your Karma and resolve it. Nothing will work out and nothing can give solution to your problems. Like pain killer, they are all Problem Killers. They change the focus of your mind from your problems for a while. For a while, you will forget your problems and enjoy the ecstasy and blissfulness of those divine concepts. When they dilutes and disappear, then you are entangled with your problems as usual. Like a man drinks alcohol to forget his problems, yes forget the problems, not to resolve the problem, you can take Divine medication to forget the problems for a while. But alcohol or Divine medication, nothing changes what is happening to you. You can be addicted to either of these to forget the problems but your problems exists in reality. Unless and until what is happening to you is changed, your problems will not be resolved.
Change brings problems and Change brings solution. Change can be brought by your action or global chaos.
We bury mango seed, irrigate mango tree, but we pray and worship God to bless apple from Mango tree. How God will bless apple from mango tree? Our prayers are like this only, we did something and expect other thing. God/Nature can not break its Dhamma even we are sincere in our devotion or we do mediation or we go to temple or we do charity or etc.
What is the root cause of problems? Your action in the past is the root cause of problems in the present. You can not change the present, it is the child of your past. You have to experience and undergo the problems of your present day, which are triggered by you in your past. Divine intervention can not do anything with the nemesis of your past action. Nothing can be done now. Accept, and undergo, your problems will leave you slowly or suddenly after certain period of time.
Do not seek Divine intervention for the current problems. They can not do anything. Apply Divine rules/teachings before taking any action in the present. Consult all the philosophy, moral, ethics of spirituality before doing something in present. Act or do not act based on the recommendation of Divine teachings irrespective of your interest or impulse. Human desire or interest or impulse are always leading to problems and sufferings in the future, which even Divine intervention can not do anything. Consult with Divine rules before doing anything in the present to avoid problems in the future.
There are two things control your life. Your actions and Global Chaos. Both can bring good and bad to you. Seek Divine luck for goodness from Global Chaos which you do not have any control over it, simply accept it. You can control your actions. Apply Divine teachings and discipline and rules before doing/acting something in the present, where you have full control in your actions to avoid problems in the future.