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Youtube Addiction

Like alchoholic addiction, I am addicted to watching youtube videos.  Everyday 2 to 3 hours before sleep, I watch youtube – 10 PM to 1 AM – three hours I watch youtube.

I would not get sleep, If I do not watch  youtube. It has become an habit before sleep.

I take Outh as not to watch youtube.  I consciously do not watch youtube for a week.  Then I break my outh and watch youtube videos as usual.

Because of youtube watching my sleeping duration has reduced.  It is hard to resist youtube, it continuesly shows likelyhood videos automatically as per our interest.

I am trying to stop watching youtube, but failed in my determination many times.

Late night youtube watching has reduced sleeping duration, diluted sleeping quality. No time and energy for other activities.   No talking with family members.  Every bit of freetime, will be used for watching youtube.

I realised that I am addicted to youtube now.  I do not know how to get rid of this addiction.  I am not getting sleep even I goto bed by 10 PM.

As usual, I have token Outh yesterday as not to watch youtube.  I did not watch youtube yesterday.  But today I am sleepless.  Post midnight, I will start sleeping as usual.

Hope, this time, I will succeed in my Outh.

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Self Pressure – Self Image

We have self image about ourself.  We expect what is happening to us should be within acceptable range of our self image.  We can not accept if something happening breaching our self image.

A person studying good at school and college, started to believe about  himeself as a good performing guy.  He can not accept, if he is given low rating in his job.  Poor feedback in job is breaching his self image as good performing guy.

We develop a belief system about ourself by seeing our face.  If anything  happening to me beyond my belief system, I can not tolerate.

I have a belief or opinion that I am a good programmer.  I understand business models and implement them as softwares. Sometimes if I can not understand a business model and not able to implement as softwares, I can not tolerate, I will start to doubt my skills.  My confidence dilutes.

The fact is nobody knows everything.  There are things which we can not do.  Not everything we can accompolish.  When the task is within our command, we get it done, and develop confidence.  When the task is beyond our comand, we are not able to do it, and loose confidence.  We afraid what will happen bad because of the failure.

Failures, not able to uderstand, not able to complete a task all are part of life.  If our self-image allows failures too, then we will be comfortable in embarassing moments too.  We are not special, not to be scolded, criticized, embarassed.  As long as our self image is flexible, we will be in a bliss.

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Decision Paralysis

When you want to take corrrect decision, but do not know what is correct, then you can not take decision.  You keep postponding making decision.  Ths is Decision Paralysis.

Decision paralysis will not solve any problem.  It extends the current situation.  Until you take decision, your problem will not solve. Decision Paralysis continue your sufferings.

Decision Paralysis will not allow you to take a decision, because you afraid that your decision may go wrong.

How do overcome decision paralysis? When you do not have experience and information to take correct decision, take decision at your will.  Move on.  Dont get stagnated without taking a decision.  Either correct or wrong decision, both will bring change.  A change from your current state.

Take decision to know what is right and wrong.  Once you know what is right and wrong, you will be able to take right decision.  You will have a flow, where you do not need to take decision.  You will follow the flow.

When you are in decision paralysis, don’t know what is correct decision then don’t prolongate the situation.  Take a decision as per your liking or follow your fear.

Decision always brings change – good or bad – there will be a change.  Hesitation prevents change happening.

It is best to follow the flow, where you don’t need to take decision.  Use your experience and information when you have to take decision.  If you don’t have experenece and information, then follow your will or fear.  Will is best.

Take decision to take better decision in the future.

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Indulge in experience to take decision

Experience will help you to take decision, at least prevent taking wrong decision.

Take decision, execute it, have experience, will help you to take better decision in the future.  If you hesitate to take decision,  hesitate to fail, hesitate to have experience, then you will not learn anything.

Take upfront decision, fail, learn to take better decision.  You will learn from your decision.

When I had to buy a bicycle, I was confused whether to buy Geared or noGear bicycle.  I rode only NoGear cycles.  I do not know how it would be riding a Geared cycle. I was postponding to take decision as geared or non gear cycles.  Read many blogs in internet, but nothing helps me to decide with the pros and cons. They confused me.

I want to experiment with geared cycle. While purchaing a cycle for my daughter, I purchased BSA Mach woman 7 speed cycle.  It has seven gears with quick release seat post, I adjusted the seat to any height before I ride it.

By riding in different gears, I expeienced the advantages of Gears. At lower gear with high cadence, we could ride without much strain to knee and thigh.  We could ride long distance without breaking a sweat.  In hight gears with low cadence, we could achieve high speed with load to knee and thigh, resulting tiredness.

In geared cycles, we could choose the way we want. Less strain cum low speed. High speed cum high strain.  We could decide.  This is not possible in non-geared bicycles.  Geared bycles are for better than Non-Gear cycles.

After spending 8000 rupees for an upfront experience, I could take a better decision now. With a higher budget, I will buy a Geared cycle for me.  There is no Decision Paralysis now.  Now, I know greared cycle is good and suits me.

If I did not took a decision to buy a greared cycle for my daughter, I would never under go the experience of riding Geared cycle.  Still, I would be in decision paralysis as whether to buy geared cycle or not.

Expeience and information helps you to make right decision.  If you do not have experience and information then take decsion at your will.  At least, you will learn if your decision fails, your learning will help you to take correct decision in the future.

Without expeirence and information, take upfront decision, atleast your loss will be less.  You will have a learning with less expense.  Expense could be time, money, energy, and resource.

Never hesitate to take decision. At least you will have experience to take better decision in the future.

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Upfront Decision

When we take decision and we do not know our decision is right or wrong, then how do we move forward?

Unless we walk in the path, we do not know about the path.

The best way to rely on taking a decision is depend on our experience.  Experience matters when taking decision.  Experience will help us to make decisions correctly.

If we do not have sufficient experience then, only way to know the result is execute the decision – walk in the path.  In such NO EXPERIENCE scenario, we can take UPRONT DECISION

Upfront Decision is, take a decision, execute it, and try your best.  If it works out, then continue else revert from your decision.  When you are starting a business, spend less money, time, energy initially – If the business takes off, then involve more, else ramp off.  Upfront decision is try out your plan for a while with less expenditure and without expectation.  If your plan fails, then nothing to loose big.

When we do not know, what will click, then we could try many Upfront Business Models.

We should not take upfront decision in marriage or life partner,  We cannot take upfront decision in buying a home.  We can try upfront decisions in renting homes. I wanted to buy a MTB cycle.  But, I am hesitating whether MTB will suit me.  If it does not suit me, then it becomes useless, money spent to buy the cycle will be waste.  If I manage to rent the MTD cycle for a day or week and ride it, will help me to know whether the cycle will suits me or not.  If it suits me, I will buy it, otherwise I will drop.  Renting before buying is upfront decision.

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The Blunder called Belief

Belief is a cognitive blunder in the evolution of mind.

When we believe something, which means it does not exist in reality.  We expect it to be. We do not need to believe a fact.  We believe in God, we believe in religion, we believe in this that.

When we are not certain about something, we develop a belief about the uncertainty to make it certain as per our convenience or as per our like.

Somebody believe in God, somebody do not believe in God.  Both are believes.  Both parties believe something.  In reality, we do not know whether God exists or not.

In day today life, we have various believes about relationships, events, products we use.  We believe soap could kill germs.  We believe education will secure source of income.  We believe good things will happen to good people, bad things will happen to bad people.  We believe struggling for money, being middle class is a symptom of good nature.

We believe in savings is good.  We believe spending is bad.  We have a belief about money, we believe somebody is good and somebody is bad.

Without logic and without facts, we have many believes in life.  We have to question our belief.  Assume something and believe the assumption, this is the way our belief system develops.

Depend on logic and facts.  When facts are not available, then have a belief as per your like but understand that it just a hypothesis.  Be ready to remove your belief when facts available against your belief.  Do not be adamant with your belief when facts are against it.

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Identification with Education

We have a strong deep-rooted identification with our educational system. We are driven mad by our attachment with education.

We have our ego clubbed with education.  We look education as a source of income to make a living.

Respect, pride, money, economy, ego are all embroiled with education.

My 10-year-old son is not going to school often.  He takes leave often.  He is telling that he does not like school.  Recently, he was adamant as not going to school.

I was afraid that he might be a school dropout from 5th standard.  I could not digest my son is without education – a college degree. There was a trauma, cry from me at the moment when this Dropout thought raised.  Sub-consciously, I have strong identification with education.  When it is shaken, I have bad emotions, I became weak.

I feared what my son will do in future without education. What job will he do without a degree?  What level of respect will he receive from the society? Will he not feel inferior in front of educated people?

I could not accept to my son without education.

I see education as a recognition, source of income, an entry into corporate companies, a resume for sky scrapping salary, a security from fear of unknown, a source of confidence.

 For many centuries, education was not attainable to majority of people.  Education was circling in a closed circle.  Many people lived without education for centuries.

I am a second-generation graduate.  Back to my grandfather onwards nobody was educated.  My father is the first graduate in his clan.

In the last 50 to 75 years, education spread across the country and reached its peak now.  You cannot join government job without a degree.

I have to get rid of my identification with education.  It is a delusion that education is everything; it is a belief that without education life will be futile.

I am limiting myself with my identification.

I am putting my son within a frame of identification.

The belief system over education, make me do certain actions, and prevent me from doing certain actions.

I have to see myself without educational identity.  When I try it, I feel myself light.  Once I shed my educational identification, I would be able to see my son without education.

There are limitless possibilities for a man without education.  Don’t let my son restricted by the possibilities of education alone.

There is a life beyond education. Schooling has become such a stress nowadays.

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Understand the Spy in your team

While discussing with your team, speak only publicly sharable opinions, thoughts.  Don’t speak anything which your supervisor or management should not come to know.

For example, when do you plan to resign your job – don’t discuss your plan in public.  Don’t criticize your manager or management in public.  When management come to know your plan, personal negative opinions, you will have bad consequences. How come management know your feedback when you discuss it with your close buddy?

There is always a spy in your team, in your colleagues.  He or She will cascade the information you leak.  You never know who is that spy.  One among your trusted colleagues is the management spy.

Don’t be skeptical about that spy or management encouraging spy attitude.  Managers need spy/information to manage the team,  Management should know the up to date pulse of its employees to manage them.

You can not identify who is the the spy.  But, be aware that there is a spy who eagerly waiting for your confession to inform the management.  He or she may get some favors due to their spying. It is best to avoid speaking what you don’t like your management to know.  Don’t speak such things with your colleagues or in public.

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Corporate Blasting

Blaming, scolding, blasting are beyond expression in corporate world.  You would be shamed like anything in front of others in corporate punishments.

Failures are treated like anything in corporate companies.  Sky scrapping salary is not without shame.

In order to survive in corporate companies one must learn to withstand heavy blasting, shame in addition to working hard.

 You can not always bring the result expected from you.  Corporate management put high demand from you.  Sometime you will succeed and other times things will not favourable to you.  When things go wrong, you will be asked tough questions, which you do not have answer.  Your superior will blast you and throw insulting words at you.

If you do not have the maturity to take things easily, You will not survive in corporate.  Take it easy, less reactiveness are best attitude to cross over corporate blasting.

Family man with commitments, housing loan, personal loan, EMIs would have no option other than accept and undergo corporate treatments.  Family man with commitments and without bank balance would not quit the job because he is insulted, scolded, blasted.  He will weep silently and ignore the insults and continue the job for the sake of his family.

In order to be part of corporate world, get used to receive blast, insult.

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Interest Vs Role in IT

Technical skills and commanding people are different. IT management often picks up a technically sound person and put him in team management role. It is a blunder. It is no guarantee that technician has a natural interest or taste in managing or commanding people.

I worked under technical leadership, both good in technology and have good commanding over people. I also worked under pure technician who does not have leadership interest.

I notice that person who have natural interest or taste in questioning, commanding people will be good leaders. Those who do not have appetite for ruling others will become poor leaders.

Natural interest, appetite, taste to rule the people, to dominate – plays important role in successful leadership.

But IT management put technically sound person, but without an interest to lead in leadership role, then later blame the person for not leading the team or people. It is not mistake of leader. It is the management mistake to select a person without having interest to rule and depute him in leadership role.

I am not talking about people who consciously change their interest, attitude as per their role. I am talking about people who do their role as per their basic interest. If the interest and role matches, they would be fine. Otherwise, they would be utter flap.