Posted on

Self Pressure – Self Image

We have self image about ourself.  We expect what is happening to us should be within acceptable range of our self image.  We can not accept if something happening breaching our self image.

A person studying good at school and college, started to believe about  himeself as a good performing guy.  He can not accept, if he is given low rating in his job.  Poor feedback in job is breaching his self image as good performing guy.

We develop a belief system about ourself by seeing our face.  If anything  happening to me beyond my belief system, I can not tolerate.

I have a belief or opinion that I am a good programmer.  I understand business models and implement them as softwares. Sometimes if I can not understand a business model and not able to implement as softwares, I can not tolerate, I will start to doubt my skills.  My confidence dilutes.

The fact is nobody knows everything.  There are things which we can not do.  Not everything we can accompolish.  When the task is within our command, we get it done, and develop confidence.  When the task is beyond our comand, we are not able to do it, and loose confidence.  We afraid what will happen bad because of the failure.

Failures, not able to uderstand, not able to complete a task all are part of life.  If our self-image allows failures too, then we will be comfortable in embarassing moments too.  We are not special, not to be scolded, criticized, embarassed.  As long as our self image is flexible, we will be in a bliss.

Posted on

Decision Paralysis

When you want to take corrrect decision, but do not know what is correct, then you can not take decision.  You keep postponding making decision.  Ths is Decision Paralysis.

Decision paralysis will not solve any problem.  It extends the current situation.  Until you take decision, your problem will not solve. Decision Paralysis continue your sufferings.

Decision Paralysis will not allow you to take a decision, because you afraid that your decision may go wrong.

How do overcome decision paralysis? When you do not have experience and information to take correct decision, take decision at your will.  Move on.  Dont get stagnated without taking a decision.  Either correct or wrong decision, both will bring change.  A change from your current state.

Take decision to know what is right and wrong.  Once you know what is right and wrong, you will be able to take right decision.  You will have a flow, where you do not need to take decision.  You will follow the flow.

When you are in decision paralysis, don’t know what is correct decision then don’t prolongate the situation.  Take a decision as per your liking or follow your fear.

Decision always brings change – good or bad – there will be a change.  Hesitation prevents change happening.

It is best to follow the flow, where you don’t need to take decision.  Use your experience and information when you have to take decision.  If you don’t have experenece and information, then follow your will or fear.  Will is best.

Take decision to take better decision in the future.

Posted on

Indulge in experience to take decision

Experience will help you to take decision, at least prevent taking wrong decision.

Take decision, execute it, have experience, will help you to take better decision in the future.  If you hesitate to take decision,  hesitate to fail, hesitate to have experience, then you will not learn anything.

Take upfront decision, fail, learn to take better decision.  You will learn from your decision.

When I had to buy a bicycle, I was confused whether to buy Geared or noGear bicycle.  I rode only NoGear cycles.  I do not know how it would be riding a Geared cycle. I was postponding to take decision as geared or non gear cycles.  Read many blogs in internet, but nothing helps me to decide with the pros and cons. They confused me.

I want to experiment with geared cycle. While purchaing a cycle for my daughter, I purchased BSA Mach woman 7 speed cycle.  It has seven gears with quick release seat post, I adjusted the seat to any height before I ride it.

By riding in different gears, I expeienced the advantages of Gears. At lower gear with high cadence, we could ride without much strain to knee and thigh.  We could ride long distance without breaking a sweat.  In hight gears with low cadence, we could achieve high speed with load to knee and thigh, resulting tiredness.

In geared cycles, we could choose the way we want. Less strain cum low speed. High speed cum high strain.  We could decide.  This is not possible in non-geared bicycles.  Geared bycles are for better than Non-Gear cycles.

After spending 8000 rupees for an upfront experience, I could take a better decision now. With a higher budget, I will buy a Geared cycle for me.  There is no Decision Paralysis now.  Now, I know greared cycle is good and suits me.

If I did not took a decision to buy a greared cycle for my daughter, I would never under go the experience of riding Geared cycle.  Still, I would be in decision paralysis as whether to buy geared cycle or not.

Expeience and information helps you to make right decision.  If you do not have experience and information then take decsion at your will.  At least, you will learn if your decision fails, your learning will help you to take correct decision in the future.

Without expeirence and information, take upfront decision, atleast your loss will be less.  You will have a learning with less expense.  Expense could be time, money, energy, and resource.

Never hesitate to take decision. At least you will have experience to take better decision in the future.

Posted on

The Blunder called Belief

Belief is a cognitive blunder in the evolution of mind.

When we believe something, which means it does not exist in reality.  We expect it to be. We do not need to believe a fact.  We believe in God, we believe in religion, we believe in this that.

When we are not certain about something, we develop a belief about the uncertainty to make it certain as per our convenience or as per our like.

Somebody believe in God, somebody do not believe in God.  Both are believes.  Both parties believe something.  In reality, we do not know whether God exists or not.

In day today life, we have various believes about relationships, events, products we use.  We believe soap could kill germs.  We believe education will secure source of income.  We believe good things will happen to good people, bad things will happen to bad people.  We believe struggling for money, being middle class is a symptom of good nature.

We believe in savings is good.  We believe spending is bad.  We have a belief about money, we believe somebody is good and somebody is bad.

Without logic and without facts, we have many believes in life.  We have to question our belief.  Assume something and believe the assumption, this is the way our belief system develops.

Depend on logic and facts.  When facts are not available, then have a belief as per your like but understand that it just a hypothesis.  Be ready to remove your belief when facts available against your belief.  Do not be adamant with your belief when facts are against it.

Posted on

Reason for Diseases – BP, Sugar, Heart Attack

We do not know the true reasons for BP, Sugar, and Heart Attack.  If we are affected by any of these diseases, we will undergo treatment.  We do not know how to prevent.

Truly, we do not know how to prevent from getting sick.  If we are sick, we will have treatment.  There are many Sayings about to how to prevent.  All are hypothesis, just belief, not fact.

If we know the reason why we have disease, then we could prevent it. We know the reason for Polio, so we found a vaccine to prevent it. 

There are many illness, we do not know why they attack us.  If attacked, we will have medicine to recover or manage it.

We are reactive to diseases, not proactive, and we could not be proactive.

We do not have medicine to prevent BP, Sugar, heart disease, cancer, viral fever, cough and flu.  We have medicine to treat them after diagnosed with them.

Diet, exercise, meditation, yoga – nothing can protect you from getting sick.  Indulge in these activities as long as you like to practice.  Do not compel yourself to do anything or stop doing anything in a belief that it could help in being healthy.  Fact is you do not know the true reason why you are healthy or why you are sick.  Health is beyond reasoning.

Posted on

How God Punish You

When you born in this world, you are not deciding your relatives, siblings. When you go to new home, you are not deciding your neighbors. When you go to new office, you are deciding your colleagues.

If you are not deciding your people around you, who decides it. It may be Fate or ‘by chance’. Sometimes the relationship between you and your ‘people’ may be comfortable to you and dis-comfortable to you in other times.

Somebody has to ‘fight’ with their spouse throughout their life, For somebody their spouse is ‘made for each other’.

Brothers and sisters are affectionate to somebody and irritating to somebody.

Level of Jealous, Fear, Ego, tolerance, giving room for privacy, admitting the biological space, love, sacrifice and many attitude and economy related factors decide the flavor of your relationship with others.

If you lost peace of mind by the people around you, do not get angry at them. It is the fate or God’s plan. When God wants to punish or test you, He would not come in person. He punish you through the people around you.

God strikes you through your wife/husband, if He is in very angry with you.

If you have bad relationship with your Boss/immediate supervisor, God wants to show your how would you suffer in the hell fire.

If your mother and sisters see you as their enemy, often engage in verbal violence or execute domestic violence with you after your marriage, God alone can save you, because God wants to show you ‘love with expectation’ is fragile.

If you have a bad neighbor, God get aversion at the sight of you.

If you have tense relationship with your sons and daughters in your old age, God wants to show you, what is wealth and health.

When you are tortured by a person whom you have to interact often, please pray to God. Either God is testing or punishing you. God alone can save you.

If you retaliate or fight back, God will show you what is hell in this human life, your soul will be burning when you are alive.

Praying God is the only solution rather than ‘doing’ anything.

Remember, you are completely broke in selecting your parents, siblings, relatives, and neighbors. ‘Broke’ means, something can sooth you or harm you but you can not control what is suppose to happen at your will. You are lost. You can only ‘accept’. You have to let things happening to you. Now you are broke.

When you are broke, leave things to God and hope for the best. Things will happen at the will of God.

Do not judge a person or relationship. A relationship can be changed upside down at the will of God. When a relationship sooth you, be thankful to God. When a relationship hurts you, Pray to God for peace. Never Never Never, retaliate your parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, spouse, Boss, and Kids.

Posted on

Is this Thought Required Now?

Is this thought required now? Have you question your thought like this?

There are countless loosely coupled thought originating in a day. Many or all of them are not required.

Whenever I have a stream of thoughts, I question them, Are they required now? Logically, the answer is NO. I am not referring ‘day dreams’. I am talking about stream of thoughts or racing thoughts which stir our emotions and leading to action. Later we feel guilty for behaving like that.

Day dreams do not force us to act. Any thought, which are capable of binding with emotion, have high chances of getting into action than day dreams.

We have such kind of unnecessary thoughts, and we will end up unnecessary actions and unnecessary consequences.

When, I started questioning my ‘emotion packed thoughts‘, I realize they are not needed at all.

My physical energy level increased when I stop the racing thoughts. I do not know the relationship between physical energy and thoughts.

I am not emotionally hijacked when I avoid the thoughts bind with emotion.

Emotions suck body energy. When we are emotionally balanced more energy retained in the body.

Avoiding unnecessary thoughts, avoid unnecessary emotions, which avoid energy loss.

To by physically energetic, ask yourself, Is this thought required now.

Posted on

Aging Process Happens at Mind

Aging process is reflected in body. But ‘aging process’ actually happens in mind, then reflected in body. Everybody has their one self-image. This self image is vary from stage to stage. During teen age, youth, middle age, at fourties, fifties, pre-sixty and post sixty, in every stage self image is vary from other stages.

This biological suit(body) changes as per change in mind. When years passed the composition , consciousness, awareness of mind is also changing. Consciousness is added with many garbage. We notice only the body’s aging process. But we miss to observe ‘psychological aging process’ in the due course of time.

People becoming fat and overweight , do not realize it day by day. But these everyday life activities slowly but steadily increase it. After few months or few years, they realize it all of sudden.

Like that mind changes slowly but steadily. But we do not realize the changes in mind forever. We let it change. Mind is a medium to interpret life. But we do not have any other tool to interpret mind.

A stress free and relaxed mind with a sense of well being can slow down ‘MENTAL AGING PROCESS’. Which ultimately slows down body’s aging process.

Posted on

Life of Addiction – Thoughts and Attitude

Many of our thought process and ‘day dreams’ are recurring in our life. We are habituated to have such ‘day dream’ and thought flow. It is a sort of ‘addiction’ to the psychological responses or behaviors. This type of psychological addiction is very subtle. It is not very easy to understand why we behave in such way.

We are slaves to our addiction. We have to attain freedom from our addictions.

Some people get tense always. Some people are always cool. Some people are always feeling inferior and some always feeling superior. All are addiction to respective mood. If you are addicted to get angry, then you get angry for anything and everything. A set of psychological addictions becomes our character and attitude. They are our immediate responses to evens in life.

People who are positive, always positive in all the situation. People who are negative are always negative in all the situation. Some people find problems in the workplace and change the office and keep changing the offices for the same reason again and again. They may be addicted to find problems in their work place.

Some people are always happy and some are always sad. Some people are always having depression without any reason. All because of addiction.

Normally, smoking and drinking are defined as addiction. But 99% of our character and attitude are addictions. We get addicted to behave in such way.

All types of addiction are genetic or we developed with or without our awareness.

Certain addictions can improve our life. Certain addictions can ruin our life. Human is empowered with get the control over all types of addiction. We can create new addiction and erase old addiction. Awareness or conscious about your consciousness can control your addiction. It is like watching yourself by you.

Phobia is also an addiction in some cases, it can be eliminated by conscious effort.

Please be aware that any activity which you keep doing or repeating without valid reason or sufficient emotional thrust; means you are addicted to that activity.

Psychologically induced high blood pressure is normally life long. Because the person gets addicted to the mood or mental state which increase blood pressure and pulse rate. Until removing the addiction to that ‘mood’ medicines are useless. If the person remove the addiction to that mood, within a fraction of second blood pressure will come to normal. This is not a medical miracle. Just having control over your addictions of mood.

Some people get addicted to be cool, calm, and relaxed. Whatever happen they can sleep well. Masturbation is mainly due to addiction, except at the early stage.

Addiction is not wrong. If you do not addicted to the sound of your name, then you will not identify you with your name. Depending upon the impact of addiction over you, your surrounding and your life, it can be termed as good or bad. If the addiction improves your life continue it, otherwise remove it. Removing is nothing but stop involving in that activity. Good or bad which you have to decide.

After starting my blog, slowly a new addiction developed in me. That is addiction to ‘blogging’. I try to blog when I am not moved by anything to write. Some impulse is pushing me to write about something. I come to aware that I am addicted to Blogging. I decided to remove it.

I started to blog for expressing about something which stirs me. Something which gives feast to my analytical skills. Of Course. I am proud being addicted to analyze. This addiction with limitation (not too much) improves my life and career too.

Blogging gives satisfaction to me. Initially, I blog when I can and what I like at my comfort. Later I come to know that, revenue can be generated from blogs through advertisement programs, which entice me to ‘keep blogging’. Now it is getting a stage of addiction.

I do not want my blog to be filled by ‘Vacum’ content. I want my blog to be having something stirs my feelings and analytical skill. So I stop looking my blog every day. Whenever I am about to blog something, I postpone it for two or three days. If I still have the trust after three days then I write. I gave low priority to blogging activity. Slowly the blogging conscious is removed. Often I give break to blogging activity. Now I am free from blogging addiction.

Our life is just a collection of our addictions.

Posted on

Writing can control Mind, cure obsessive compulsive disorder

Mind is fast. It is difficult to control it. Especially when it is obsessed with some repeated thoughts. Ego stimulated feelings or negative feelings like jealous, angry will stir your thought like anything. No need to say about sexual feelings. Emotional hijack is the final stage.

People suggest yoga, medidation, pranayama and other highbrow breathing concepts to control the mind. But ordinary people cannot practice such things. Many people do not have time and ‘mind’ to learn and practice.

Silicon civilization is the busiest civilization on the earth. Even human breathing length is shortened here. Too busy to have a relaxed breath.

Instead of controlling the mind, we can divert the mind. Diversion is easier than controlling.

Writing is one of the easy ways to divert the mind. When you start writing, mind changes its focus to the topic you are writing. You can not write one issue and think about another issue. Mind is synchronized with writing. Without your effort mind will change.

You get angry with somebody in your workplace or neighborhood or while traveling or etc. But you are not able to express your feelings. You can not express your angry feeling to your boss. You can not express your angry feeling to your teacher. You can not express your angry feeling to your spouse.

You can express your all feelings freely if ‘Unconditional Love’ exists.

All your suppressed emotions come out as thoughts. You shout, beat the source of your angry. You design diligent plan to put ‘them’ down. All in day dreams or thoughts or imagination. While working, eating, speaking to somebody your mind is busy developing angry thoughts. Not only angry thoughts , suppressed sex feelings completely hijack your mind. Mind will be busy generating sexual thoughts.

In this situation you can not stop your mind. Why you have to stop your thoughts? that’s you have to decide. If you wish to stop proceed further.

All this ‘smoldering’ thoughts and stress increase the relevant stress.

If you are angry at a person, then start writing the good features of that person. Immediately mind will switch to produce good thoughts. If that person is inhuman and does not have a single good character from your point of view, then write about your good friends or good things or places you like or people you like.

Then your mind stops producing the obsessive thoughts. It becomes cool and happy by thinking about what you like.

What you stuff in the mind that will reflect in thoughts. Suppressed emotions can lead to obsessive thoughts. If you stuff anger, it will produce angry thoughts, if you stuff sex, it will produce sexual thoughts, if you stuff fear it will produce fearful thoughts. To counter fear you need to stuff courage into your mind.

Just start writing about what is opposite of echoed in the mind. That is all. Mind will divert easily.

If you have angry thought, just write about what you like. If you are sad, then write about what is happy to you. If you have too much of sex urge, then write about divinity.

Write about opposite of running in mind or something different or strange from what is running in mind. This will change your thought flow.

This type of writing habit can cure obsessive compulsive disorder. Writing for minimum on one or two pages is enough. If you practice this type of writing, you can feel the drastic change in your mental health.