13/9/2026
I did not write for nearly 1 years or
10 months. Many things happened in between. I totally forgot writing.
Still I do not have additional
income, or increase in income. Expenses are coming in row. My loans got increased. Surprisingly, some banks, NBFC offer loan to me.
Still not on EMI based by God’s grace. My CIBIL score is good – 798.
Fears of Sanjay and fears of loan repayment, fear of future are rising
again and again. Sanjay fell down and injured few times. Few of my friends lost their jobs. Girisankar is stranded.
I booked new Bullet 350 –
Standard black. Tomorrow is the delivery. Inspite of previous good and bad experiences with bikes, still my mind is excited to get a new bike/Bullet. I am dreaming to keep this bullet for the next 10 years.
God bless this Bullet/bike to me.
As usual mind oscillate between
expecting bad and good experiences from Bullet.
Today, my mind had thoughts
of Bullet negatives, riding excitement long tours, serious long ride, strong fears of Sanjay during his outing.
Fear of Sanjay, pleasant experience from Bullet, unpleasant experience from Bullet are the thoughts originating and dominating my day. They come, stay, disappear automatically.
Sometimes I started thinking over my thoughts. Sometimes I simply watch my thoughts and its impact in the body.
Instead of getting money from selling websites I decided to get
second job and pay my EMIs and prevent further loan.
Today, I remembered my thoughts, emotions for the last 10 or 11 years. Many thoughts and emotions in the past are non-exist now. Many problems of past are non-exist now. I hope, I will be relieved financially in the future.
From time to time I am expecting something to happen to be happy.
Bullet booking took nearly 50 days waiting period. I was restless as when Bullet will be delivered. I was restless as when loan amount will be credited to my bank account. I was restless when Sanjay will return home safely.
Like hunger repeatedly occur and fulfilled, desires evolve one after another. Fears one after another, worries one after another, tensions one after another. I remember Buddha’s note on desire now.